Chapter 14 of Matthew for today! I read it a couple of hours ago - but then got diverted to others' needs woven into my time. I had to run pick up a granddaughter from school, bring her home, then drop off 'decorations' of old laundry paraphernalia at church for the WOW Night - Women of Worship - at Faith Assembly tonight @ 6:30. I am really looking forward to that. The Lord's presence in our worship music practice last week was so powerful that I am eager to be with Him again with a roomful of other women whose intention is to be there to worship; to sing together; to share time together; to laugh, eat, and learn.
So - I read the chapter - ran off to my diversions - and now am back to look at it again! I had forgotten that Herod the tetrarch thought Jesus was John the Baptist.... We just learned in Chapter 11 that John was in prison - and doubting - and we heard Jesus' affirmation of John. And now we hear the story of how 'the greatest ever born of a woman' (as Jesus called him) died...a horrible, unfair death.
A myriad of emotions well up in me while considering John the Baptist: grief over how he died; honor for how he lived; joy for what & whom he proclaimed; agony that he was a victim of a horrible crime - and they 'got away with it;' vulnerability for feeling somehow at risk myself - for the reality of the unresolved that still needs clarity in far more minor situations of being called to speak truth, including speaking God's truth - and feeling the message is rejected - and sometimes the messenger as well.... Been there. Done that. Yet I know that all I am called to do is be faithful. Still, I want the fairy tale ending. I want grateful appreciation and understanding, justice served, wrongs to be righted, God's vindication to occur when appropriate. I want the prince on the white horse to gallop in at just the right moment and vanquish all foes. I've obviously watched Cinderella and Snow White at least one too many times.
In the real world, even when we are absolutely certain God has directed us to do something specific, the outcome is not always what we anticipated. My job is to be obedient, just like John the Baptist was - and if I have doubts, to go directly to the One who can quell them. To be faithful, and let all the rest be His responsibility to take care of. And to stay close to Him. Close through His Word, close through prayer, close in worship and Christian Fellowship. Like the fully human side of Jesus, I sometimes want to run off by myself to grapple with my pain.
What Jesus wanted after John the Baptist died was some time to be alone. What he got was a huge crowd to minister to - to heal their sick and at the end of the day - to feed them. He didn't get what he wanted - but I think He got what He actually needed. He needed to minister. It was the 'occupy until I come' kind of model that we need for our lives.
The crowd included 5,000 men - then women and children were on top of that. When we hear about the 'feeding of the 5,000' in reality it was a much larger group - and at the end of the day, after their other needs had been met, they were hungry. Jesus told the disciples the people didn't need to go away to the town to get food - that they were to feed them. So they went looking for resources, and they found one kid with a sack lunch - 5 little rolls and 2 small fish. Out of all of those people, only one little kid came with a lunch. (I can hear his mother: Yes, you can go - but don't you leave this house without some food. You never know how long you will be gone - so better be prepared. Do you hear me? Grab some bread and fish before you walk out that door!)
I love that kid. He was God's kid in God's place at God's time. Can you imagine how he might have felt when the disciples approached him and said, Hey, son, you're the only one here with food. Could you come with us to Yeshua (Jesus)? He told us we have to feed all these people, and - well, it sounds a little crazy, but we were there when he turned water into wine at a wedding banquet, so just maybe...would you be willing to come with us to see if He can use what you have to feed all of these people? And the little boy went. Bless his heart. I want to meet that child in heaven and thank him for being faithful in that moment.
John the Baptist had just died. Jesus knew He was in the last months of his time on earth. He was fully human as well as fully divine. He was grieving. He was healing. He was multi-tasking! What a wonderful reminder that we must minister to others along the journey - wherever we are on that journey - even when we, ourselves are in pain. And out of the abundance of the heart are not only words, but actions that prove His residency in us, with us, through us, among us.
At the north end of the Sea of Galilee there is a natural amphitheater where thousands could sit, and still hear every word Jesus said. When I stood there I visualized this scene. Hordes of hungry people - hungry for truth and literally hungry - having one of the biggest picnics imaginable - all from this one child's lunch. And in the end, twelve baskets full of leftovers were gathered.
O K - I am taking a 'human' moment here! In the Bible it says basketfuls, but I think it has to be basketsful to be correct. It is the only typo I believe I have ever found in standard versions of the Bible - but I can't help it, it just leaps out at me. I remember a teacher very clearly explaining to our class that it is spoonsful, not spoonfuls - - and the same rule would apply....
Now we come to one of my absolute favorite stories in the Bible. Peter is really why I am a Christian. You see, when I doubted God existed, and promised to recommit my life to Him if he would save my baby that I was pregnant with the fall of 1970, He 'gave me' Peter as my example. Impetuous Peter. Some people rank on Peter for taking his eyes off of Jesus and sinking - but most people would never have gotten out of the boat. This same Peter who walked on water, later faltered....but that's a story for another day when we get there.... Anyway - - Peter is very special to me. More to come....
The Lord also says to me, "Take courage! Don't be afraid." Lord, may it be so....
Humor for the day:
This is a true story from my own life: Years ago, when I was worship leader one Sunday morning at Montesano Presbyterian Church, in Montesano, Washington, I was reading the prescribed portion of scripture during worship, and the passage included a statement about Jesus Christ. As soon as those words 'Jesus Christ' were spoken, a little boy in the back row said in a loud whisper to the lady who had brought him as a guest that day, "Can she say that in church?"
It was a very real moment - and obviously a teaching opportunity for the woman who brought the child to visit. It also served as a reminder that we get used to our church lingo - and that we need to be aware that not everyone who comes in understands what the words mean. In fact, many years later I was at a Women's Spiritual retreat, and at our table we were talking about the topic of righteousness, and one lady said frankly, "I've been around church for a long time, and I've never known what that word means." I told her that the easiest way to think of it is 'right living by God's standard' not our own - - that we have an idea of what living right would involve, but that God calls our righteousness 'filthy rags' - and that we have to learn how He wants us to live from His Word. She thanked me profusely - said she could understand that, and that no one had ever explained it before.... Of course, after that, I also clearly learned that righteousness is imputed to us by God because He sees us through the filter of His Son - - but I couldn't go back and add that very important message, as my opportunity for the teachable moment' with her had passed....
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