DAY 15 – COUNTING TO ASCENSION

BACKTRACKING, LESSON 11:  POST-RESURRECTION ‘CATCH-UP’ & JESUS’ 2^ND APPEARANCE IN SEQUENTIAL TIME

Jesus’ first appearing after his resurrection (4/4/33 A D)

& Jesus’ 2^nd appearance to his disciples behind a closed door

IN PARALLEL TIME, today is 2 weeks after Easter – and the day that Jesus appeared to all of his disciples with Thomas present

Reading for today:
Matthew 28:1-10
Mark 16:1-8
Luke 24:1-12
John 20:1-23, 26

For the catch-up portion:
When the women headed to the tomb just before dawn on Sunday morning, they wondered who would roll the stone away for them. They probably didn’t know that there had been guards posted on Sabbath morning. After all, it was a hasty decision to do that as an afterthought, just to be sure no one stole Jesus’ body and claimed He had risen.

When I was growing up I thought of a boulder when they said stone. I didn’t know that the stones were hewn from rock into the shape of a disk, and that there was a trough it was placed into – that it actually could be rolled back from the entrance by someone buff enough to do it – at least a couple of ‘very strong someone’s’ being preferable. What were they thinking?

I understand their wanting to honor Jesus – to do for him what was customary – even if redundant – to expiate some of their grief. They must have known that Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus (the one who once came to Jesus under the cover of night so his fellow-Pharisees wouldn’t know he was a follower) had already entombed Jesus with the customary 75 pounds of spices – since they hung around until they saw where he was laid Friday after being removed from the cross – but maybe they left before they saw that part happen. Anyway, they brought their spices, too

They had to be my type of women: the ‘where there’s a will there’s a way’ type. I love that they went – even though the odds of their success were stacked against them!

When the women came to the burial site and saw that the stone was already rolled away, the first and most natural thought was that someone had stolen Jesus’ body. They had seen him die, had stayed around on Friday evening until they saw where he had been laid.

What they found was an empty tomb – the spicy-smelling cloths that Jesus was wrapped in lying vacant – and the cloth napkin that had covered his face folded neatly and lying separately. The angels gave their standard “Do not be afraid” greeting – then told them “He has risen!”

But – he left that folded napkin! A dear friend from my college days shared a story that was circulated on the internet about that – then the same story was included in our Easter Sunday sermon. It was something I did not know before – and I just love little tidbits of information like that!

The story is: that in that era, if the master of the house left the table after he was finished with his meal, he would just leave his napkin crumpled. That would be the sign to his servants that he had completed his meal, and wouldn’t be back. However, if his meal was for some reason interrupted, and he had to get up and leave the table temporarily, he would fold his napkin neatly and leave it at his place – with that being a clear message to his servants that he was coming back.

Jesus very carefully folded the napkin and laid it apart from the other burial cloths. His definitive message in that was: I am coming back!

I love the story and its significance – both to them when they entered that tomb and found it empty – and for us as we look forward to his Second Coming. He is coming back!

He is risen. He is risen indeed. I LOVE saying that every Easter morn – and today it is just as thrilling. That truth infuses us with a hope that isn’t just wishful thinking. He absolutely rose from the grave, the conqueror over death and sin – original Sin and all of the sins that ever had been or ever would be committed . . . including my sin.

When I was a little girl, I had a hard time thinking of myself as a wretch when I sang ‘Amazing Grace.’ Unfortunately I succumbed to sin in my early 20’s in a way that made wretch sound kind. I walked away from God when I thought He had let me down, then I proceeded to let Him down.

Some people are so good that they never commit what we would call ‘sin.’ I believe that those are the people who have the hardest time seeing their need of a Savior. But – we are all poisoned by original Sin – the sin that Adam and Eve committed when they took things into their own hands and thought they were smarter than God. After all, that’s what disobedience is: thinking we know better and doing it our way.

The sin of indifference to God – thinking we can do life without Him – is the greatest sin of all. He created us, and He created us to be in relationship with Him. How arrogant, if we think we don’t need Him to walk with us.

Self-sufficiency is a devastatingly insidious sin. It breeds self-righteousness. It separates people from God – their Creator – the One who came incarnate (in the form of man) to redeem His fallen world. We are born into that original Sin. No amount of being good and doing the right thing can assuage that – only Yeshua ha Meshiach – Jesus the Messiah – can cleanse us from sin – both original Sin and personal sin.

But – the joy is: once we accept Him, we are no longer called Sinners! We are Christ-ones – who occasionally still sin – but our identity is no longer ‘Sinner.’ I’m a child of The King. All of His children are Servants of the Living God – and it is just the kind of servitude I can be excited about. Serving One who has my best interests in mind – who has a future with Him planned for me – I can be keen on that! And I am!

Now for the parallel time tidbit when Thomas got to see Jesus:
This is the day – 2 weeks after Jesus’ resurrection – that Thomas finally got to see Jesus for himself.  Jesus had appeared to the other disciples last Sunday  – but Thomas wasn’t there, and he said that unless he saw with his own eyes and touched the wounds with his own fingers he would not believe.  I am soooooo grateful for Thomas.  He was a very realistic Thomas, and because Jesus proved himself to Thomas, we have the record of that proof for our benefit.  I do not blame Thomas for needing proof.  It really was pretty unbelievable, after all.    

On a personal note; thoughts written for my blog in 2010, but shared again this year in honor of Melanie’s memory:
I am incredibly sensitive to ‘death that comes too soon.’ Even when I am not a close friend, when premature death touches someone I know, I take it hard. I am fairly certain that is because of losing my birth mother so young. She was 37.  I was 7 ½.

A lovely lady from my church passed through the portal of death on Friday night. She had just celebrated her 50th birthday a few days before her untimely passing. I agonize for her family – especially her husband. I did not know her well. My contact with them is very limited, and has been primarily through e-mails exchanged during the process of her battle with pancreatic cancer. He was wonderful about sending out updates on how things were going – and because of that, I connected, trying to add encouragement in their time of intense challenge.

They were part of this church for 22 years, and I know how honored they are – and how loved. And – I know by reputation that this couple was deeply in love. I doubt this would be the time to tell him – but some people never experience that kind of love through a whole long lifetime of existence. I know that losing her when they shared such a deep love is undoubtedly harder in some ways, but it is a loss without regret.

Her death is the death of the body – but not the death of her soul. Even as many mourn her passing – it is passing into as well as away from. She is whole and healthy. There is no more pain. The ‘bright hope for tomorrow’ is one that does not disappoint: she will be waiting on the other side. There is joy and comfort in that knowledge. Still, for now I know the sorrow is palpable and unbearable – and that when we experience loss, we must grieve.

It is a reminder that the perfection ended with the first Adam’s sin was redeemed by the Second Adam, Jesus Christ; and will be ushered in – in its fullness – with His Second Coming. No more sadness. No more tears. No more sorrow. What a glorious day!

In the meantime, it takes courage to live beyond loss. To take one step at a time. One minute. One hour. One day . . . until breathing becomes easier and life holds new hope – renewed meaning . . . . I want to take the hurt away – and I can’t. But I know the One who can, who will . . . .

The reality we live with is that we are in a fallen world. Bad things happen to good people – but Jesus is with us through all of life’s circumstances – and He deserves our praise and worship no matter what our circumstances. When I saw this grieving husband and his family come into worship Sunday morning – less than 36 hours after death had entered their life – I knew that they were doing that: honoring God no matter what their circumstances. It was tenderly touching – and seeing others reach out to them, embracing them, sharing the loss together affirmed that we are all in this together – sharing both life’s joys and sorrows – and right in the middle of the tears and embraces, Jesus is there, grieving too.

DAY 14 – COUNTING TO ASCENSION

BACKTRACKING, LESSON 10:  THE SABBATH OF PASSOVER

 

What Mary knew

Reading for today:
Luke 1:26-56
Luke 2:21-53
John 19:25-27

Jesus’ followers were Jews. They honored the Sabbath. Sabbath lasted from dusk on Friday until dusk on Saturday. The Sabbath followng Jesus’ crucifixion was a very special Sabbath. It was the Sabbath of the annual commemoration of Passover.

The Jewish faithful were celebrating the redemption of their ancestors from Egypt – the exodus of a people who had become slaves – who had been held in slavery for most of their 400 years in Egypt. Moses and Pharoah had a running dialogue, with plague after plague thrust upon the Egyptian people, with Moses repeatedly imploring, “Let my people go!”

The final plague occurred during the night (beginning about midnight) after the children of Israel consumed that very first Passover feast. The Angel of Death touched the firstborn of every living thing in Egypt with death – from the mightiest to the lowliest. All who did not have the blood of the lamb sprinkled over the doorpost of their abode lost their firstborn. And in the grief of his personal loss, Pharoah finally said, “Go!”

During the Israelites’ forty years of wandering in the desert God instituted laws that would instruct them in how to live their lives, and how to honor Him. Honoring the Sabbath Day, just as God had hallowed it by resting that day in His creation, was an imperative. It was part of the Old Covenant, and until the institution of the New Covenant they lived by that Covenant. Jesus had just made a New Covenant the night he celebrated the Passover with his disciples, but it was not yet shared….

My explanation is just to affirm the timeline they were restricted by.  On Saturday night after the Sabbath ended it was too late to go out to the site of Jesus’ burial – but early on Sunday morning, while it was still dark, those who longed to honor Him could wait no longer.

My thoughts thrust me this morning to Mary, Mother of Jesus. As a little girl she heard the stories of the Messiah who was to come. He was to be born of a virgin. I imagine that every devoted Jewish girl wondered who that lucky girl would be – probably fancying He would be born into a lavish home, his mother one of prestigious birth. He would be the conquering King after all – so how could he be born to anyone outside a powerful, wealthy family?

God had another plan. It was she who was chosen – and as events leading to his birth and earliest days unfolded, she treasured all of those memories up in her heart. From the announcement of the angel Gabriel that she would be the one who birthed God’s Son; to Elizabeth’s greeting of, “Who am I that the mother of my Lord should greet me…;” to the shepherd’s telling of the angels’ hillside proclamation; to Simeon’s prophecy over the child at Jesus’ dedication in the temple when Jesus was 40 days old – and Simeon’s declaration that now that He had seen God’s salvation, he could die in peace.

Then, to have Wise Men from the East come and bow before the child in a humble cottage in Bethlehem, and gift him such expensive gifts….there was a lot to ‘treasure up.’

No doubt the necessary flight into Egypt was not quite in her vision of what she thought would be intended for this one who would someday be King…. However, having angels come and direct their comings and goings for Jesus’ protection…. More things to treasure up.

And then, to be his mother – to watch him grow, see his respect, witness firsthand his absolute perfection. He was sinless. No tantrums. No unfair treatment of siblings. Ever the peacemaker. I have great kids, and am incredibly blessed – but He was absolutely perfect in every way, in every situation, in every decision.

Oh, he gave his parents one bit of grief when he stayed in Jerusalem when he was twelve, having stimulating discussions with the religious leaders at the temple when his parents assumed he was somewhere with the group from Nazareth as they made their way back to their own town up north after being in Jerusalem for – not coincidentally – the Feast of the Passover! A trek they made annually.

That’s the only glimpse we actually get of Jesus as a child – at twelve – and he was ‘about His Father’s business.’ Other than that, all we are told is that Jesus grew and became strong…grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

 

Mary had not forgotten any of that. We aren’t privy to what else Jesus had shared with her, but we do know that His own siblings didn’t believe in Him until after the resurrection. In fact, from the cross, Jesus made sure Mary would be cared for by ‘gifting her to John’ and ‘John to her.’

Mary was in town for the Feast of The Passover again this year. But this time, she stood near the cross – watched her child who had prophecies proclaimed over Him before, during and after His birth, bleeding. Watched the soldiers take his beautifully woven seamless garment and cast lots for which one would own it, heard Jesus’ final words, wept…. Watched Jesus die….

We do not know precisely what Mary knew. We do not know how much Jesus had told his mother – but there is no indication that he had forewarned her…but Simeon had. He had told her, …a sword shall pierce your own soul, too. And now it had come true.

Mary had experienced the pain of misunderstanding when she first became pregnant outside wedlock. She lived with that taint on her life. People around her didn’t believe she was chosen – or that this first of her many children was God incarnate. What Mary did know and hold closely was what God had revealed to her – through the Angel Gabriel; through corroboration of her soon-to-be husband, Joseph; through Elizabeth, her cousin; through shepherds; and Simeon; and the prophetess Anna; and what she saw of Jesus as he grew.

 

(Mary was also there at the wedding in Cana, and knew enough to know her son could save the day….)

The reality of what Mary experienced versus what she might have assumed would happen reminds me clearly that God’s call on my own life may not go as my script would design…. But I know the One who died and who came back holds me safely in His hands. The cross is where Justice and Mercy collide. Sin demanded payment. Justice was served. But Justice came clothed in love – bathed in the mercy of the Redeemer’s blood.

It is Jesus’ shed blood that saves. There is no other way.

It is important in this world of political correctness that has gone all wrong with its assumptions to also note that God’s sacrifice of Himself on the Cross to redeem us from Sin does not save everyone – only those who accept it… and who fall humbly at the foot of that cross, and allow that blood to flow over them in cleansing power.

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. It’s that simple….

Thank you, Lord, for all you have done for us so we can be free to live for You!

The rub is – on that Passover Sabbath in 33 A D when Mary had so much to ponder, the Jewish people were celebrating Passover  – their ancestors’ release from Egyptian captivity – while anticipating another ‘freeing from captivity’ when their Messiah would finally come….

He did. He had just died on the cross on Friday afternoon, the Lamb of God who took away the Sins of the world. Most of them missed out on that reality. They’re still waiting. But we know He came. On Resurrection morning, He arose. Mary’s suffering soul pierced with grief soon experienced JOY!

When He comes again, present grief will also turn to joy! That is a great reminder on days when the pain of loss is pervasive.

DAY 13 – COUNTING TO ASCENSION

BACKTRACKING TO ‘GOOD’ FRIDAY:  LESSON 9

Jesus’ crucifixion

Reading for today:
Matthew 27:32-66
Mark 15:22-47
Luke 23:26-56
John 19:17-42

Some of the prophecies fulfilled:
Psalm 22:1, 18
Isaiah 53:12
Psalm 34:20
Zechariah 12:10

(In 2010 when this blog was originally posted, this entry was written on April 19.  Knowing that will make the entry more meaningful.)

I recommitted my life to the Lord in the Fall of 1970, after 2 years away from Him.  I walked away from God because I decided God didn’t exist – a decision based on a huge mistake I had made that I thought God should have prevented if He were real.  My poor decision was the foundation of my problem – but it was so much easier to blame God.  During the time I was away from God I got a divorce, and remarried.

Two months after remarrying I returned to Him because I was at risk for my body aborting ‘our baby’ when I was pregnant with our eldest daughter. I was bleeding, and I prayed and said, “God, I don’t know if You even exist, but if you are real – and if you are there – if you will save this baby, I will recommit my life to you.” He was there. He saved the baby. And He ‘saved’ me!”

What wonderful memories thinking about her life elicits. In addition to all of the memories of having her as a daughter, the miracle of her coming to full term is one that has an eternal effect for me.

Another April 19 was the day she was baptized. It was Easter Sunday –her 16th birthday. Since we were in the Presbyterian Church at that time, and they didn’t have a baptistry to do immersion baptisms, we arranged to use the one at the Church of God that afternoon for a special service. Pastor Al DeHaven was the one who baptized her. She had accepted Jesus as her Savior as a young girl, but the day she publicly professed her faith was a very special day.

April 19 is also a date tinged with sorrow. It was on another April 19 our nation was shocked with the bombing of the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Because it was my daughter’s birthday, the date stuck in my mind. It was horrific. I didn’t know anyone who was directly affected until several years later – but it was incomprehensible to me that hatred could be vented against so many innocent people. I cannot write today without extending my sympathy to those still grieving.

It would be easy today to be swallowed up by the sorrow side of life.

I ache for others’ loss of one they loved so dearly. Some people never experience that depth of love. It is a love many would love to experience. But such a love lost is a grief beyond expression.

And so, with the reality of a mixture of joys and sorrows, I come to today in my ‘catching up’ to the texts recording the events surrounding Jesus crucifixion. But before I get into that, this morning’s loose ends include a bit left over from the last time I wrote. I wonder about Barabbas – wonder how being the one who was saved might have affected him later on….

And I lament Judas Iscariot’s rejection of Jesus. He had a choice – and he made the wrong one. And by the time he recognized it, it was too late. The thing is – I have made bad choices in the past, and God redeemed them. The reality is, God looks on the heart. He knew my heart, knows my heart now – that I long to live a life that honors Him. We do not walk this journey of life alone. Often our intentions are misconstrued or misunderstood. We just have to keep walking – living out our faith, and knowing He is the One who will judge men’s hearts. And – He will judge fairly! That gives me comfort…but I know today will be a grappling day.

I don’t recall previously paying such close attention to the discrepancies in the gospel reports. But the key elements are there. John tells us that Jesus carried his own cross. Matthew says that as they were going out they drafted Simon of Cyrene to carry the cross. If Simon did, I wonder what effect it had on him long term…. There is so much we do not know.

What we do know is enough. Jesus was nailed to a cross – a cruel, cruel cross. To fulfill prophecy, the promised coming of the Messiah had to fall within the span of years where crucifixion was the form used to kill criminals. It did.

He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities….

The sign above his head proclaimed KING OF THE JEWS. They meant it to be ludicrous – but it was true. He was hung on the cross at about 9 a m. At noon, the sky turned dark and remained dark until 3 p m, when Jesus proclaimed, “It is finished” and breathed his final breath. And at his death, the veil in the temple – a woven veil that was about 4 inches thick, was torn in two – from the top to the bottom. There was an earthquake, too, but it wasn’t the earthquake that tore the veil. It was God. Jesus’ death on the cross paid the price for sin forever. The wall that Adam built between man and God with original Sin, was now paid for – paid in full…by the second Adam from above.  The veil that separated God from his created was torn and the New Covenant through Jesus’ blood came into effect – with people having direct access to God for the first time since Adam and Eve walked with Him in the Garden of Eden.  Monumental!  Amazing! 

It seems to me that the most awful thing Jesus endured in all of that process was when He could no longer feel God’s presence. From birth He had always known God’s presence with Him, through every trial and temptation. At the moment that He became Sin for us, and became the sacrificial lamb, it appears God the Father could not look upon that sin, for Jesus cries out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.” It begs the question of ‘Did God actually forsake Jesus?’ or did it just feel that way? Feeling that way certainly felt real – and for the first time in His life, an utter, empty loneliness….

When we truly walk in His footsteps we walk by faith, not by sight – and certainly not by feeling. Sometimes, we, too, feel God has abandoned us. As long as we, by our choice, remain ‘in the vine’ we are never left alone. That was Jesus promise.

What He did for us on the cross is too amazing to understand completely – but we do know that when God looks at us, He sees us through the filter of Jesus’ blood shed for Sin. The splotching of sin that stains us when we mess up is hidden by Jesus’ cleansing blood. But – we do come freely – all because of what He did on the cross. The veil represented that. It was torn in two from top to bottom. The Most Holy place – the Holy of Holies was suddenly accessible to man. What was only accessed by one priest once a year on the Day of Atonement suddenly became available to all just for entering. And the only way we can have that access is because God sees us through Jesus….

Now we can call him Abba – Daddy. God is no longer the unspeakable name – one so fearful that we cannot approach Him. We should not lose the respect for Who He is – but we should be very grateful that instead of being accessible to only a few we can be in intimate relationship with Him – the very God who created heaven and earth…. How amazing. What amazing love that God should love one such as I, leave His home in glory, be brutalized by the created, and die for mankind.

Once they killed Jesus, many realized that He was indeed the Son of God.

After Jesus died, Joseph of Arimathea went to Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body. He and Nicodemus, both behind-the-scenes believers, took Jesus and laid him in a borrowed grave. John tells us that they used 75 pounds of burial spices – and they wrapped him in a linen cloth. By 6 p m – before the Day of Preparation for this very special Sabbath ended – the stone had been rolled into place. The two Mary’s saw where he had been laid before they left.

The next day, on the Sabbath, the chief priests and Pharisees who had heard His prophecies about rising again from the dead went to the authorities and asked if a guard could be posted until after the third day…just to be sure no one came and stole his body and then claimed He had risen again. Pilate accommodated their request – but later, when Jesus ‘went missing’, he didn’t execute the guards…. After what Pilate experienced personally with Jesus, did he hope the prophecy was true?

DAY 12 - COUNTING TO ASCENSION

BACKTRACKING TO ‘GOOD’ FRIDAY:  LESSON 8

(“Friday” was from Thursday evening at 6 p m until 6 p m on Friday.  The timeline for today’s events occurred between +-2 a m and +-6 a m on Friday)
Jesus’ trials and scourgings

Reading for today:
Matthew 26:57-27:31
Mark 14:53-15:20
Luke 22:54-23:15
John 18:12,13, 19-24
John 11:49-51

I’ve never done research to support the claim that all of Jesus’ trial process was illegal – that claim is so conspicuously logical I haven’t checked it out. I just believe it. His captors came under the cover of night rather in broad daylight where the crowds of Palm Sunday would see and perhaps come to his defense – and then the ‘where there’s smoke there must be fire’ mentality apparently took over. . . .

When we last saw Jesus, the guards had bound him in the garden on the Mount of Olives – and were leading him back to the city.

The four gospels do not agree precisely on all the details. I spent many hours trying to piece them all together to make all of it fit. I finally gave up. I decided each has merit. Each author shares the story as he heard it told, and each touches the most important points – so I am bailing out on my intent to create a precise probable linear sequence of what Jesus endured.

What I do glean from the gospels is that in the early morning hours of +-April 3, 33 A D, when people should have been sleeping – and most of Jerusalem was sleeping – the High Priest, Caiaphas; his father-in-law, Annas; all of the chief priests, teachers of the law, and scribes – those lovely Pharisees and Sadducees Jesus came into conflict with so pointedly during his time on earth – had ‘their time,’ their opportunity to wield their pent-up misplaced power. They manipulated the Roman Governor, Pilate, into helping them carry out their evil plot.

When Pilate learned Jesus was a Galilean, he sent him to Herod, who was, ‘coincidentally,’ in Jerusalem at that time. Herod had wanted to meet Jesus, but Jesus didn’t answer his questions. So, Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked Jesus. Pilate tried to use Herod as his scapegoat – but got the hot potato thrown right back into his lap.

Pilate’s wife even sent Pilate a message, warning him to stay out of it because of a horrible dream she had.

All of the chief priests and the Sanhedrin were seeking evidence against Jesus so they could put him to death, but they couldn’t find any. Luke even tells us some of the accusations: that they had found Jesus subverting their nation; that he opposed payment of taxes to Caesar; that he claimed to be Christ. Claims he was against the Jewish nation; against the Roman Government; against God. What a progression of claims. The first two accusations  – that he was subverting their nation  and that he was in opposition to paying His taxes – were blatant lies; but the third ‘accusation’ that he claimed to be the Christ – the Messiah – is absolutely true.

Then false witnesses brought claims that Jesus had said he was going to destroy the temple and in three days would build another, not made by man – but even their testimonies weren’t in agreement. Jesus refused to even reply to their baseless claims.

Caiaphas asked Jesus directly, “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?”

“I am,” said Jesus, “And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

Jesus didn’t respond to many of their questions – but He said enough. They had a chance to hear truth from Truth Himself – and they rejected it – and Him.

Pilate questioned him and asked, “Are you the King of the Jews?

“Yes, it is as you say,” Jesus replied.

Pilate never did find reason why Jesus should be held – but he gave in to the will of those shouting ‘Crucify Him,’ washed his hands of all responsibility before them, released Barabbas at their bidding, and released Jesus to their will. John tells us it was about 6 a m when Pilate gave Jesus to his accusers, saying “Here is your King.”

But they wanted death.

In the early morning, the chief priests, elders and teachers of the law convened for a quick consensus: they condemned Jesus as worthy of death. He was dressed in a robe fit for royalty, a mock ‘crown’ made of thorns was woven together and placed on his head. The soldiers put a staff in his right hand and kneeling in front of him, mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews.” Then they spit on him and took the staff and struck him on the head repeatedly, driving the thorns deep into his flesh. He was hit with fists while he was blind-folded, the perps playing a game of ‘Hey Jesus, prophesy who hit you;’ then the guards removed his royal robe, took him and beat him. Their beating was no schoolyard beating. We are told from history that the beating was with whips imbedded with sharp metal and rocks and sharpened hooks that tore the flesh from the bone. It was brutal. The images sicken me. It is too hard and too graphic to write about.

After they had mocked him, they led him away to be crucified.

Meanwhile, while Jesus was being tried before Caiaphas, Peter stood by the fire in the courtyard, having been invited in because John was known to the high priest. It was there, while awaiting the outcome of the first level of Jesus’ being tried that night, that Peter denied he knew Jesus – not just once, but three times – just as Jesus had told him would happen.

Dawn came. The rooster crowed. Jesus was condemned to die. Good Friday? Not for him!

Sharing the memory written in my 2010 blog:
I have written and re-written. This is the only day I have gone through so much challenge with what I would put into the blog. Usually I just start writing – and whatever flows from my fingers to the computer is what gets sent. Today was not that easy. I knew this was going to be a lot of material to cover, so I started early. I wrote several pages yesterday, melding the four gospels to try to blend what they each share. Then, this morning, first thing, I received a very sad call, telling me of the death of a lovely lady who died last night, losing her battle with pancreatic cancer – and losing the hope of many that she would be miraculously healed. I really wanted this one. God does heal. I’ve heard many testify to that reality – and have experienced his intervention and healing in my own life – physically, spiritually and emotionally.

I am disappointed that the script I wanted was not the one God is writing – yet beneath the sadness of the loss, which is most of all sadness for the grief for her family and dearest friends, I am filled with hope. Hope that doesn’t disappoint. Today she is free of pain. Jesus Himself mourns with those who mourn – and He will hold them close to His heart through their levels of grief.

It is also a reminder that we are called to come alongside – to offer loving help to those who need help, to mourn with those who mourn, to share joy with those who share joy.

Homegoing for a seasoned saint who has lived long and well, and is ready to meet the Master is a celebration. Homegoing for a wonderful saint who is too young – but who has lived well and died ready – also deserves to be celebrated. Somehow it is harder to get past the pain and to the celebration. She’ll be terribly missed.

When I attended the Olympia Choral Society musical re-enactment of THE CIVIL WAR I found it to be absolutely compelling. I had never absorbed what happened during the Civil War so personally before. It was humorous, sad, tender, informative, alive. It conveyed realities I never learned in school. It made me laugh. It made me cry. But it was a good kind of crying because I could leave with hugs and kudos to the participants and be grateful for the gift they had provided.

This morning’s sorrow does not offer that kind of resolution and culmination. I am still processing. It made it hard to write with clarity, the reality of the early morning call lingering all day as I try to formulate thought.

But, no matter what the journey brings, our hope is secure. Jesus conquered death, rose again from the grave, and we who die in the Lord will be raised again – with Him – at the resurrection. I’ve been walking this journey with Jesus these few weeks, trying to live with Him what He was living then. Today that and the poignant reminder of others’ very palpable grief are mingled together. It is appropriate that on a day we were predicted to have had sunshine, God is crying with them. I can only pray for the comfort of the Holy Spirit to be with those who grieve – to hold them close and give them a peace beyond understanding. I know that Joy comes in the morning. May it be so.

 

DAY 11 - COUNTING TO ASCENSION

BACKTRACKING TO ‘GOOD’ FRIDAY:  LESSON 7

(Beginning late on what we would call Thursday night /until +-2 a m Friday morning)
Jesus arrested

Reading for today:
Matthew 26:47-56
Mark 14:43-52
Luke 22: 47-53
John 18:2-12

Jesus betrayed by Judas

Jesus arrested

Peter cut off the right ear of the High Priest’s servant (Malchus)
(Caiaphas was the high priest)

Jesus touched the high priest’s servant’s ear and healed him

All of the disciples desert Him

Young man who was following Jesus fled naked


It’s preposterous, actually…that the King of Glory, The LORD GOD incarnate of heaven was arrested by arrogant men – men who came with swords and clubs and ropes and righteous indignation – believing to the core that they were ridding the world of a man who perverted their Torah, their laws. Or at least that is what they convinced themselves of in their fear and fury. Yes, fear. They were afraid of ‘rocking the boat’ and Jesus was certainly rocking the boat. The Jews feared the Romans – and feared for their tenuously-held positions. The bottom line was greed . . . well, that and self-preservation. Making self more important than what God is doing is always a recipe for disaster. Their fear was inflated by their fury, and led to false accusations and false arrest.

It hurts that Jesus was betrayed with a kiss…an intimate betrayal. And that his betrayer – the one who lied about Him and was instrumental in being the catalyst for bringing wrath upon Him – was one of His selected, chosen twelve. One of ‘The Twelve’: a title of distinction. An honor that was discarded for thirty pieces of silver.  And, even in that moment, Jesus calls him ‘friend.’ With friends like that…. Well, you know the phrase . . . .

And then Peter – our dear, impetuous Peter – cuts off the ear of the High Priest’s servant, Malchus. It must have been quite a scene: this large contingent sent out by the Chief Priests, Teachers of the Law, and the elders. They came with the clout of prestigious backing. They came forcefully, with swords and clubs, as if to quell some sort of malicious malevolent insurrection. So – with a fairly formidable foe to fight – Peter, against all odds, draws his sword and cuts off the ear of the high priest’s servant. In the cover of night, very few probably even saw it happen – or the logical consequence would have been swift and violent. But Jesus saw – and simply healed the man’s ear. No fanfare – no last-minute object lesson of His power and deity. Just tenderly touches Malchus and heals his ear . . . then cautions Peter that ‘all who live by the sword will die by the sword’ – something He had just averted for Peter, obviously, with His tampering with the evidence of Peter’s crime.

That story has always touched me. It somehow went unnoticed by the contingent of men who came to arrest Jesus – but I do wonder what effect it had on Malchus. Here he is with this detachment sent to arrest this awful man – an awful man who just put his ear back on….

I wonder how he remained silent.  I wonder what impact it had on him long term.   

The words of an old, old song from my childhood years come quickly to mind: “. . . I sing for I cannot be silent. His love is the theme of my song. Redeemed, redeemed, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. Redeemed. Redeemed. His child and forever I am.” I am incredibly grateful for that redeeming love. For Jesus paying the price required to purchase salvation. He could have chosen not to go through with the plan.

Matthew records Jesus as saying, “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”

In the moment of His arrest, as Jesus was bound, all of the disciples fled, one slipping out of his clothing – leaving his garment in the clutches of  one of the men who came to arrest Jesus – and running off into the night naked. Then the detachment brought out by Judas Iscariot, their path of treachery lit by lanterns and torches, led Jesus back from the grove at the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives – back across the Kidron Valley, and back into the city. It was the darkest time of the night. A period of darkness like no other ever had been before that night. . . .   

DAY 10 - COUNTING TO ASCENSION

BACKTRACKING TO ‘GOOD’ FRIDAY:  LESSON 6

(6 p m ‘Thursday’ to 6 p m Friday)
Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane

Reading for today:
Matthew 26:30; 36-46
Mark 14:26; 32-42
Luke 22:39-46
John 18:1

This is the order of events that I have sorted out in reading the above:

They went out to the Mt of Olives, across the Kidron Valley
Matthew 26:30
Mark 14:26
Luke 22:39-46
John 18:1

Went to Gethsemane
Matthew 26:36-46
Mark 14:32-42
Luke 22:40-46

Jesus wakens them from sleep and tells them his betrayer is coming
Matthew 26:46
Mark 14:42
Luke 22:46

Yesterday the weight of what Jesus was soon to endure – and was enduring emotionally even before it all began – walked with me all day long. I tried my best to exude my ‘bubbly Mary Poppins’ side of ‘practically perfect in every way’ but my heart was heavy. This morning I recognized the layers of why – and part of it is directly attributable to this journey.

When we left Jesus and his disciples in Lesson 5, they had just sung their final song, and headed out into the night. We pick up the story there – with them heading across the Kidron Valley in the dark of night to go to the Mount of Olives….

I am reminded that when John the Baptist identified Jesus to the masses, he said, “Look, the lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” Jesus is being propelled into the weight of that finality as they leave the upper room and their Passover meal – the last food Jesus ate on this earth before his death . . . aptly named in art The Last Supper….

Jesus took all eleven of his remaining disciples with him – but left eight of them – all but Peter, James and John – in one spot, telling them, “Sit here while I pray.” I don’t think it has ever occurred to me before to wonder how it might have felt to be one of the disciples outside the inner circle. I have to believe that because we aren’t told of their having conflict with that reality, that they must have had the kind of temperaments that celebrated others’ gifts and talents, rather than be jealous or feel left out. Other than the one little tussle over “who gets first place” only one of the twelve had major issues that we are aware of and that was Judas Iscariot. And right now in the fleshing out of the story – he is fulfilling his role as betrayer . . . .

Jesus took his ‘inner circle’ of closest disciples with him a little further, and left the three of them together, telling them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch.” He went on ‘about a stones’ throw further’ and knelt to pray. What he prayed was for God to take the cup from him if there was any other way. “Nevertheless,” he ended, “Not what I will, but what you will.”

He was in deep agony. He needed the support of his friends. He had told them he was overwhelmed – and needed their prayerful support – and what were they doing? Sleeping.

He came back to the sleepy threesome, but directed his attention to Peter. “Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

Then he went back to his place of prayer, and prayed again to his Father, “If there is any other way, Father, please take this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours . . . . ”

Returning to Peter, James and John, he found them sleeping again, because their eyes were heavy. He didn’t even wake them – He just went back to pray a third time – alone.

Luke tells us that an angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him, and that being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like great drops of blood falling to the ground.

This time when He returns to them He awakens them and cajoles them again for sleeping and resting – and tells them the hour has come – “Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer.”

In addition to sharing the journey Jesus walked as closely as I am capable of, there are compelling lessons to learn inherent in this portion of the story. First and foremost, if we are to avoid failing and succumbing to temptation, we also must be faithful in prayer – with everything we do immersed in prayer. Jesus fought his most formidable personal spiritual battle during those few hours in the garden – beginning just before midnight, and ending in the wee hours of the morning. His forty days in the desert following his baptism by John the Baptist had prepared Him for ministry, and this final time alone with God prepared him for what He had come to earth to accomplish. “Behold the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.”

This portion of the story also affirms how intensely we need friends. Even Jesus didn’t want to ‘go it alone.’ Thank God He brings others into our lives to share portions of our journeys – and even when we feel alone in this world, HE is there. He promised ‘never to leave us or forsake us.’ He meant it. We need others to come alongside. We need to be the ones who come alongside. That’s why He instructs us to ‘bear one another’s burdens – and so fulfill the law of Christ.’ His law is love, and love sacrifices . . . .  

As for the disciples that night – Peter, James and John, his trusted inner circle – only hindsight would bring all that happened that night into perspective. They were tired. It was the time of night to be sleeping. They had had an incredibly busy day. Especially Peter and John. They had prepared the entire Passover Meal. Then during dinner, they drank more than their usual amount of wine for dinner, as prescribed in the custom of the celebration. Wine relaxes and makes one sleepy. Jesus acknowledges that when he says, ‘The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’ They didn’t understand what was about to go down . . . but they certainly heard Jesus’ words when he told them he was overwhelmed with sorrow – a sorrow so deep that it was ‘to the point of death.’ Yet, they couldn’t stay awake. Their spirit was willing, but their flesh was weak.

The third huge thing for me is Jesus’ obvious loving forgiveness. He has warned Peter in advance of Peter’s soon-to-come failure. He invited Peter, especially, to pray to be protected from temptation – but He knew what would happen….and He already had forgiveness in place….for even when he told him he would deny him three times before dawn – He said, “When you come back, strengthen your brothers.”

I’ve experienced that loving forgiveness.

Knowing Jesus wept alone that night pierces my soul. I do not have the capacity to experience the fullness of what He did for me by taking that cup of sorrow and shame. He didn’t want to have to endure the physical and emotional pain – but there was no other way.

No other way! That’s a message I want to convey clearly. There are people in my life whom I love dearly who do not embrace that reality. One politically correct lie of Satan that pervades modern-day Christianity says that “We wouldn’t want to limit God.  We as Christians believe salvation is in Jesus – but if God chooses to save through another way – through Buddhism or Islam or any other way – who are we to say He can’t? After all, He is God.”

The grief that Jesus’ bore in the Garden of Gethsemane informs me that God limited God. It is not the only proof that God limited God. But it clearly conveys that Truth. If there had been any other way, God – who can do all things – would have taken the cup from Jesus. He didn’t. He couldn’t. He did it for us. The only way.  Just one way to God…. The drops of blood that He sweat in those earliest moments of the morning after midnight were the beginning of a cleansing stream . . . .  His blood shed for the remission of original Sin – and all of humanities’ accumulated sins for all of measured time.

Sharing for today:

My 3-year-old granddaughter confidently – and accurately – proclaimed to her mother, “There is only one way to heaven . . . GOD!” Out of the mouths of babes . . . .  

DAY 9 - COUNTING TO ASCENSION

BACKTRACKING TO ‘GOOD’ FRIDAY:  LESSON 5

(6 p m ‘Thursday’ to 6 p m Friday)
The Upper Room Discourse as reported by John

Reading for today:
John 14 - 17

John 14 Jesus comforts his disciples
Jesus teaches He is the way to the Father
Jesus promises the Holy Spirit
John 15 Teaches he is the vine and we are the branches
Explains that the world will hate his disciples
John 16 Tells them he is telling them in advance to they won’t go astray
Explains the work of the Holy Spirit
John 17 Prays for himself
Prays for his disciples
Prays for all future believers (that’s us, folks)


I watch a fair amount of golf with my husband. Do you know what Golf stood for when the word was originally coined? It was an acronym for Guys Only Ladies Forbidden. Well – this  ‘Last Supper’ Passover night was obviously a guys-only-ladies-forbidden night too.  That is not an indictment, just a reality.  Actually in their world women were property – but Jesus is the one who changed all of that, so there is no recrimination in the reality. 

These chapters record the final messages for the male contingent of those Yeshua loves most dearly on his final night – and within hours of being brutally beaten and hung on a cross to die a miserable death. Dying messages. I’ve never read these chapters from that perspective before. It changes them, reading them as the dinner conversation Jesus shared with His disciples on that last night….

Someone I care very deeply for informed me that when Jesus declared ‘I am the way, the truth and the life’ that His intent was to model a simple way to live that they should mimic…not that Jesus was proclaiming He was the only way to God. I would not decry simple living; it has a lot of merit – for where the treasure is there the heart will be also – but that isn’t what he was saying here. He’s telling them purely and simply that belief in Him is the absolutely only way to get to the Father. Jesus as ‘the way’ is the only way to eternal life. The messages Jesus left with them as His final words oozed love…and oodles of important information, including:

‘My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.’
‘You are my friends if you do what I command.’
‘I chose you to go and bear fruit.’
‘This is my command: Love each other.’
‘You will be hated by the world.’
‘The Holy Spirit is promised.’
‘Your grief will turn to joy.’

He warns them that in this world they will have trouble – but that He has overcome the world.

Jesus prays for Himself, but makes such a clear theological statement in the process that there can be no doubt that eternal life is through Him alone; He prays for them, praying for their protection and unity in Him;
and He prays for future believers – again for unity.   (I loved that His prayer includes those of every generation who follow him!) 

He covers all the bases that need to be covered, reinforcing the message He came to earth to bring. Reading this from the perspective of the reality of when it was spoken makes it so much more tender. Jesus’ care for them in these last moments before all hell broke loose is monumental.

And – with a song and these prayers that John shares – they went out into the night.
----

I want to mention just a little more about Chapter 15. In the midst of the myriad of reminders, Jesus tells them that He is the true vine and His Father is the gardener. He uses a word-picture that they – and we – can understand. We have to be ‘in Him.’ We can do nothing without Him. God will cut off every branch that bears no fruit. Christianity is not an ‘I got mine – so good luck to the rest of you’ religion. It is a relationship. Just as the branches are connected to the trunk – so we are connected relationally – first and foremost to God – but also to each other. We are grafted in – and as long as we are connected to Him – and produce fruit – we are a healthy part of the tree.

God will prune us to make us more fruitful. Being pruned is not fun – it is painful – but God prunes us precisely so we can be more fruitful. He knows what is dead wood in us.  He prunes us.  He corrects us.  He constantly leads us. He directs our paths. He speaks to us.

God speaks to us in several ways. He also speaks in different ways to different people – but two foundational ways are through His Word and in prayer. He speaks to some through dreams; some through visions. I think that is very cool! He also can speak through others – but He has to confirm what He is saying through His Word and His Holy Spirit to me. I know I am not to rely on someone else being my connection to hearing Him. In fact when I was a Youth Leader, I told the kids to check out everything they heard me say or the pastor say against God’s Word – never to take anything someone else said as the truth without confirming it by His Word.

For me, in addition to speaking to me through the words of His written Word, He speaks in a still, small voice inside my head – but it is a voice I recognize clearly, and His thoughts are different than my own. I recognize his ‘voice,’ – and what He tells me never conflicts with His written Word . . . that is the litmus test. In fact – that is the test for all of the insights God gives. They will always line up with His Word, the Bible. Anything that adds to or takes away from the written Word is not God speaking . . . . He will illumine and bring clarity to what is already there – but there will never be ‘new’ information. It is complete as is. False religions include those that add to the written Word of God with ‘newly revealed knowledge.’ That is a huge red flag. Lights and sirens and bells and whistles should all go off in our heads if we hear someone teach anything different than the Word of God – or hear anyone twist or manipulate God’s Word to say something it doesn’t clearly say.

Once long ago when I said that God speaks to me, my daughter thought I meant audibly. It is as clear as audible – but it is not an external voice. And – God often gives me ‘large life messages’ in Charlotte’s Web fashion: Examples include: ‘Contend for what I contend for.’ And: ‘Persevere.’ When 9/11 occurred and I was praying, wondering if it was ‘the end,’ God spoke to me and said, “Keep on keeping on. Occupy until I come.” On a more daily level, He communes with me as I walk through my day, assuring me of His presence, bringing songs or scriptures to mind, nudging me when I need nudging, cautioning me when I need caution, leading, guiding, nurturing. My point is: I know His voice, and treasure my relationship with Him. I am humbled that He wants to be in relationship with me.

This passage instructs and informs me – compels me to see His enormous love: ‘Now remain in my love.’ The choice is up to us . . . . ‘If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love . . . .’

Lord, help me hear and help me obey. Help me love as you have taught me to love. I know I can’t do it perfectly; but I can be intentional in trying.

With His help, I can make a difference in the world.



Humor for today:

A grandma was out for a walk with her four-year-old granddaughter. The child picked up a piece of partially wrapped candy off the ground and started to put it into her mouth, when the Grandma stopped her and took the item away.

“Why can’t I have it?” the granddaughter whined.

“Because it has been on the ground. You don’t know where it’s been. It probably has germs, and it’s dirty,” the Grandma patiently replied.

At this point the little girl looked up at her Grandma with total admiration and exclaimed, “Grandma, you’re so smart! How do you know all this stuff?”

“Well,” her Grandma replied, thinking quickly, “All Grandmas know this stuff. It’s on the ‘Grandma Test.’ You have to know this stuff or they don’t let you be a Grandma.”

That seemed to satisfy the child – and the two walked on in silence for a few minutes; but apparently the little girl was processing this bit of new information, for suddenly a smile brightened her face and the joy of discovery was expressed in her observation: “Oh, I get it! If you don’t pass the test, then you have to be the Grandpa!”

“Exactly,” the Grandma replied, with a big smile on her face….

DAY 8 - COUNTING TO ASCENSION

In parallel time – April 23, 2017

Jesus’ appearance to the entire group a week after Resurrection Day! (on the 8^th day)

Reading for today:
John 20:24-30

‘Though the doors were locked Jesus came and stood among them….”

I apologize for the whiplash – dashing backward, then forward…. But – my intention all along was to write about what happened ‘then’ in parallel time, and I want to be faithful with keeping that intention. I obviously had more to write about than I could possibly get to – so am still playing ‘catch-up,’ but for the things that are stated to be specific times – I want to keep up – and today is one of those days.

Jesus appeared to His disciples on the evening of the Sunday he was resurrected – simply ‘appeared’ to them behind a locked door – and said those words that Jesus and angels say when people are quaking in their boots, “Do not be afraid.” There is no record of what He did between that day and His next recorded appearance, but He shows up a week later – for Thomas’ sake. Thomas wasn’t with them last Sunday when Jesus first appeared to His disciples, proving that He had risen.

Thomas made it perfectly clear that he was from the sturdy rootstock of ‘Show me!’ I love Thomas. His story is one that resonates clearly when we are in times of doubt and unbelief. ‘Show me.’ And Jesus did – and does….

‘Blessed are those who don’t have to see to believe’ – but I can tell you that those who require more proof are also blessed – for when we ask for bread, he doesn’t give us a stone….

I have heard a lot of sermons castigating Thomas for his unbelief – but we should thank him, for through him we see the Master, alive and well – and Thomas witnesses to the risen Lord.  These many years later, his words of affirmation ring true. Thank you, Thomas Didymus. Thank you, Lord!

Stop doubting and believe.

Humor for today:

When I was in college at Northwest, Professor Fee told the following story on himself:

“I was trying out for a church in Grants Pass, Oregon, and the first words out of my mouth when I stepped into the pulpit were: ‘Good morning to all of you people here in Grass Pants.’

It was not the first impression he had intended – but it was a wonderful ice breaker.

Another truly funny one in real life happened in Montesano. My pastor – who was/is an absolutely certifiable genius tended to get words mixed up on occasion. One Sunday from the pulpit, speaking of someone who wasn’t playing with a full deck, he said, “She didn’t have both udders in the water.’ He meant oars. Since I am visual it was a lot funnier to me than to most folks.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAY 7 - COUNTING TO ASCENSION

DAY 6: POST RESURRECTION

BACKTRACKING TO ‘GOOD’ FRIDAY:  LESSON 4

(6 p m ‘Thursday’ to 6 p m Friday)
Jesus’ new command & Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial

Reading for today:
John 13:33-35
Matthew 26:33-35
Mark 14:29-31
Luke 22:33-34
John 13:36-38


In yesterday’s recounting of the events surrounding Jesus’ final Passover on earth we reclined at the Passover table with the disciples during the foot-washing – and later witnessed Judas’ leaving to ‘go do quickly what he was about to do.’ We know that by then in their evening it was night – dark night, and by their timeline several hours into Friday. 

As soon as Judas leaves, Jesus tells them, “Now is the Son of Man glorified….” Wow! Things had been irreversibly set in motion….it was truly the beginning of the apparent end. He didn’t wait until he was on the cross to declare that he was glorified – it began now….

This is when He shares one of the most significant expressions of the New Covenant:  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Then he showed them throughout the remaining hours of that 24-hour period just what love demands.

This is not just warm, fuzzy love. This includes the “I don’t want to do this – but I must to be faithful to the call on my life” love. It is not love founded in feeling, but in faithfulness. And it isn’t optional. It is a command. It takes absolute submission to God to live out this kind of love. We can’t do it on our own – but Christ, who lives in us, the one in whom we place our trust, helps us through the power of the Holy Spirit…. Oops. Even that is jumping ahead! The Comforter cannot come until Jesus ascends…. And that is a story for another day….

In our linear sequential storyline, we come to Peter. Another glimpse. Another layer. Peter who walked on water to meet Jesus. Peter who has been Jesus’ sidekick for a significant part of the past 3 years. Peter who determinedly declares his undying devotion, and willingness even to go to prison and to die with Jesus. And all of the others agree, following his lead. And what does Jesus tell him? That before the rooster crows in the morning, Peter will disown Jesus 3 times – not just once but 3 times. I think that must have been really hard to hear – and Peter, with all he was worth, probably determined not to let it come true.

Judas will betray Jesus by intentionally giving Jesus up to the authorities. Peter will betray Jesus by claiming he never knew him. One betrays out of bad motives; one betrays out of fear. One will repent and hang himself; one will repent and become bold in proclaiming the message of the Gospel. Both sinned – but the outcome was vastly different.

When I think of denials I think of the reported 26 people who die as martyrs for their faith every hour. Of churches filled with parishioners bolted shut and burned. Of people rounded up and slaughtered execution style. It’s easy ensconced in my comfy chair at the computer in the relative safety of my home to think I could be noble and stand firmly for my faith if terrorists were to come into my church and say they’d kill all who didn’t deny their faith. Yet I know that kind of resolve can only come through the power of the Holy Spirit.

It is portrayed in smaller doses in standing up for truth and justice – when it would be much easier to embrace a philosophical attitude toward sin or rationalize wrong thinking – because standing up for what is right risks severing ties I’d like not to be severed.  We live in the reality of a world that does not have a God-informed worldview. 

It is a daily walk. But this day is going to be a tough one – for Jesus, certainly, but for his disciples as well. It hurts to fail. But how tender that Jesus warns Peter – that He knows human frailty and still demonstrates His love. That he is about to die, with this group of followers as his ‘firstfruits,’ all the while knowing they will run away in fear, and desert him in his hour of deepest need – and He loves them anyway.

One final poem to share:
A LAST GOODBYE
by Lola Cain 1/9/2007

If I’d had time to say goodbye
I’d have held you close and told you
That I’ve loved you every moment
With all of my heart
Through good times and bad
‘Til death do us part
With the love that we promised
Way back at the start.
I’d have affirmed my love is enduring
And that my love for you has grown
To envelop me and help mold who I am….
If I’d had time to say goodbye.

If I’d been able to say goodbye
I’d have held you close
And told you not to cry too long,
But to live life
With the same exuberance
We’ve shared
I’d tell you that you are the love of my life
And that because I love you
I want you to live to love again,
Though not too soon…
I’d say that loving honors love lived
If I’d been able to say goodbye.

If I could have said goodbye
I wouldn’t have wasted time with regrets
But with remembered joys.
I’d have told you how I’ve loved
Waking up before you, lying beside you
Absorbing the sound of your breathing,
Watching you sleep.
I’d tell you how I’ve thrilled
To your slightest touch
Even though I sometimes didn’t affirm it;
I’d have told you now.
If I could have said goodbye.

If I had the chance to say goodbye
I’d ask you to tell the kids
how much I love them.
No matter how many times I said it
It was never enough
To cover the coming hours and days of silence.
And then, before I finally had to go
I’d hold you one last time in my embrace,
Feel the warmth of your body,
Your breath against my neck,
and tell you one more time I love you…
…If I had the chance to say goodbye.


This poem was inspired by the thought of life that ends abruptly with no chance to say goodbye. Life lost by inches is terribly painful, but those who take advantage of that time get to say their last goodbyes. This poem speaks for those who did not get that opportunity.

I was reading poetry by the then-current (2007) poet laureate, Donald Hall, in preparation for leading the discussion on our book group’s author for April. He writes prolifically in “free verse” and his experience of recording the process of the loss of his wife, Jane Kenyon, made me think about those who lose someone suddenly, unexpectedly. I know that even “knowing” the loss is to occur does not prepare us for the reality – when we are blindsided by an emotional onslaught we had no way of anticipating – but it does give us a chance to say some of the things we want to say. This was written at a time when our family was grieving for a loss that soon would be reality (while poignantly aware of friends experiencing similar loss.)